Tools for Parents and Students to Address Bullying
Role of Parent in Preventing and Addressing Bullying
Preventing Bullying
Children need to be resilient to deal with bullying, therefore:
● Talk to your children, listen empathically. Take complaints of bullying seriously.
Talk to children about what is going on at school.
● Stay active and involved in your child’s life.
If parents are not in their children’s lives, a lot of other things are. Remember, your
teen may not always like you, but they need you!
● Anchor values that guide your teen’s actions and decisions. Discuss bullying
behavior and how hurtful it can be to others.
● Do not allow bullying behavior in your family toward any one.
● Teach and reinforce your teen to trust their instincts concerning people and
places that feel unsafe.
● Spend time loving your kid, especially when they are most difficult to be around.
That may be when they need it the most!
● Observe the ways in which your teen makes decisions, obeys rules and authority
figures, handles responsibility, chooses friends, handles popularity or lack thereof and
personal and social power. Be there, without preaching, to help them problem solve
and intervene when necessary to protect them from harm.
● Remain proactive and reinforce respectful behavior
● Supervise more closely or restrict any conduct/relationship in which you are not
comfortable .Know your children’s friends and their parents.
● Become familiar with school policies regarding bullying and its consequences and
communicate those to your child
● Find out what the mechanism are in your child’s school for students to report
bullying. The number one concern of parents regarding schools’ handling of bullying
was insufficient investigation. Find out if there is anonymous reporting available.
● Be positive role models in any setting and refrain from using foul language or “put
downs”. Children often become bullies by observing adult behavior.
● Keep communication flowing between you, your teen, teachers and staff.
Addressing Bullying:
● Be responsive. Take appropriate steps to intervene.
● Take your child’s concerns seriously. Listen for signs that your teen may be the
target or perpetrator of bullying behavior.
● Be realistic, don’t overreact. Not all threats are created equal!
● Share appropriate and safe strategies in dealing with bullying conduct.
For example:
- Ignore the bully; attention is what bullies are seeking
- Seek immediate help from a responsible adult
- Report bullying to school personnel
- Walk away or run away from unsafe situations
● If parents become aware of bullying problems; parents must report it to the school
immediately and ask for help from the school
● Contact law enforcement if you suspect a crime has or may occur
● Seek professional help
● Involve “mentors” in your child’s life. Mentors are trusted adults who have the time
and desire to be with your child in a healthy and positive way. Whether your child may
be a target or a bully, having consistent, positive role models that provide support will
help your child become more resilient to bullying behavior and assist a youth who
engages in bullying conduct.
Role of the student in preventing and addressing bullying
- Communicate concerns to your parent, trusted adult and/or school about bullying activity, either as a target or as a bystander
- Avoid usual time and places where you come in contact with the bully.
- Choose safe places and safe people to be with at school.
- Respect everyone: treat others as you would want to be treated
- Know school rules and parental expectations for conduct at school
- Determine how to address the problem in a safe, legal and appropriate manner.
- Support other students: Bystanders can be part of problem or solution. Bystanders are a powerful majority and can use their social power and personal actions to promote respect for themselves and others.
- Do not retaliate against a bully. It is dangerous and rarely effective.
Portions adapted from California Department of Education Safe Schools
Juvenile Consulting Services, 2008
